on what not to do to piss of your tattoo artist....

1. don't with a dismissive tone tell them that their paper work is unneccesary
2. when paper work is only half filled out don't tell the artist that "that's good enough"
3. do not... under ANY circumstances... call them "honey" "dear" or any other term of endearment with a condecending tone... the fact that they are less than half your age and female does not matter.
4. do not announce that the healing instructions will go unheeded because you are in the habit of "just letting them go"
5. immediately after doing number 4 do not then dare to ask if the tattoo will turn out ok
6. do not then ask if you can come in for touch ups (the answer will be yes but odds are you will be highly overcharged)
7. after leaving the shop do not while still standing in front of the window rip the bandage off and throw it away

if you avoid doing any of the above be well assured that your tattoo artist will be a happy, sweet, non-overcharging, low blood pressure having creature that will welcome your return with open arms.

The previous was written one evening after a single customer committed ALL of them. I have since thought of a few more...

YES! your infant is included in the "no children" rule. The fact that your infant is not as mature as what most of us would think of when hearing the word "child" only means that not only should the infant not be allowed in the shop, but you should EXPECT blank stares when trying to use the excuse "but it's only a baby".

"I'll give ya (insert dollar amount that's less than actual price here) for that tattoo." This phrase is sure to decrease any pleasant feelings the artist may have for you. Who are you that they should take a pay cut for you? Let me clue you into something here.... if you were someone the artist liked enough to give a discount too, odds are you would not be the kind of crass individual that would ask for it.